Healing after Loss and Tragedy

This week's post will most likely be quicker than usual.


I wanted to talk about Coping and Grieving.

"But in all of the sadness, when you're feeling that your heart is empty, and lacking. You've got to remember that grief isn't the absence of love. Grief is the proof that love is still there." - Tessa Shaffer

Yesterday, I finished up watching a series I was into. The show nor the ending doesn't matter. The important thing is how I felt. After watching any show or movie I often find myself in a sort of vulnerable emotional state. As if all my emotions are heightened. Usually, since the show I've been so heavily invested in has concluded these emotions tend to be on the 'sadder' side of the equation. Upon the conclusion of my show that had nothing to do with dogs. I couldn't help myself from thinking about my little doggo Blue. All I could think about was, "she's going to pass away someday". Even though she's not even two yet it was the only thought on my mind. What will I do without her? Something that is so far away she nearly has half my life that I've already lived remaining. Yet, all I can think of is the end. Upon editing this post this morning I woke up to the sad news of someone who passed away. Not directly linked to me or someone I've met but close enough to feel something. People I consider like family. Once again it got me thinking. This time of recent events. The explosion in Lebanon, a house burning down a block away, and everything going on in our pandemic way of life.


How do we Cope? How do we Grieve?


When it comes to coping with tragedy, whether that is personal or natural. The best thing to do is remind yourself and stick to, what can you control? If something is out of your control, you will go crazy asking yourself "who, what, when, where, why". They often talk about the 5 Stages of Grief

  • Denial

  • Anger

  • Bargaining

  • Depression

  • Acceptance

We don't always follow this order and some may flow through it slower or faster than others, it is merely an example of what grieving may feel like. When it comes to my dog something I do, that will hopefully help me is taking pictures and keeping mementos. Whether that be videoing her doing something I love or keeping her first tug toy in a sort of capsule box. Anything that will help ease what will inevitably be painful someday will hopefully help. Along the same lines of capturing great moments, is too focus and remember the good even turning the bad into a laugh. I will remember the day I was angry at Blue (my dog) for biting me into a funny memory where I wonder that little coo-coo fluffball.


As I've mentioned we all cope differently some different ways are as follow

  • Talking About It

  • Humor

  • Physical Activity

  • Mental Stimulation

  • Keeping Constantly Busy

  • Venting

  • Meditating

even sometimes, unfortunately, we react with negative coping mechanisms

  • Denial

  • Blaming One-Self

  • Self-harm

Among many others, try your best to stick to more positive ways of dealing with whatever it is you may be going through.




There is no correct way of dealing with anything but there are incorrect ways (oxi-moron I know). We are all unique, what's important is to understand this. If someone right next to you is 'over it' that doesn't mean you must be too. Take your time and reach out to anyone or no one. I know this wasn't very deep or maybe not very helpful this week, it's just been something on my mind the past two days and I wanted to share. Again I just want to apologize my brain has been all over the place, sorry if this post isn't up to my usual standard.

- Thinking Mans Thoughts



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Thinking Mans Thoughts

by Brandon Dankner

Mail: thinkingmansthoughts@gmail.com

© 2020 Thinking Mans Thoughts by Brandon Dankner