“Moving on doesn’t mean you forget about all that has happened, it means you accept it for what it was and move on.” – Me
Even when beginning to write this I couldn’t decide if I wanted this to be a broad topic or more focused on one instance. I’ve had/have a lot of things from my past that I’ve let go of (friends, rough nights) but I also still have those very same things that I let go of that still linger in my mind at this very moment. Friends are not something I have many of or should I be giving advice, but one thing is for sure they always come and go. Lots of them I’m able to appreciate the good times we’ve had together and have moved on. But there are a select few that no matter how hard I try, will always be on my mind. So, I am not perfect and moving on, but I certainly try my best and that’s all we can ask for ourselves. I’ll even purposely not let go sometimes because I fear what I may lose. I try and protect myself before anything happens. When it comes to the part of my life that involves suicide it becomes a bit trickier to let go. It feels so ingrained into me. I’ve certainly come a long way from where I once was. Let’s try and grow together.
5 Ways of Getting Past Your Past.
Accepting it for what it was. We are not able to change the past. What has happened is done. Did I try and kill myself, yes, can I change that no? Then I must accept that this is the truth. I can try learning from the experience. Learning my triggers, what to do, what not to do. But to dwell on the past will not help me in moving forward. Sticking to facts and attempting to learn from them is your best bet. If you dwell which I do very often, progress will not be made.
Take initiative in progressing. Similarly, to the first point, deflecting blame won’t help. There may be a million different things to blame but, that will only send us into the wrong directions. Take responsibility for what has happened will help us grow. If we stop blaming the past, we can begin to focus on the present. If we are busy at the current moment, we will have no time to dwell on the past. Whether that be growing as a person or finding a hobby. If we are constantly keeping busy it won’t even allow us to enter the point of no return. (being dramatic of course)
Forgiveness. Again, a continuation of the previous point. We must forgive (not forget) someone who has wronged or hurt us. As well we must forgive ourselves. Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. Sometimes we don’t even know the damage that is being done. It’s not easy to forgive especially given the severity of certain situations. It just becomes that much easier to move on when all the emotions are not being bottled up in our brains.
Reaching Out. This has got to be the best tip for just about any and every topic I write about. As someone who kept everything in for over a decade no real good comes from storing it all. Whether you write your feelings down just so they aren’t all bottled up or talking to a family member, friend, or professional or going to tackle the issue head-on. Reaching out is good for us. It doesn’t always work either but it’s a damn good place to start. I’ve reached out to people and have still tried to end things. I am sure it would be a whole lot worse if I told no one. If you’ve ever broken down and cried, you’ll know the relief you feel after. That is releasing emotions. That is a fantastic way of moving on. It doesn’t mean let go. Just let out. “Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone’s hand is the beginning of a journey. At other times, it is allowing another to take yours” – Vera Nazarian.
Create new memories. I know I just spoke about the best tip but, the best way to move on from our past is to grow our present and future. Create so many memories that you’ll be searching for space for the old ones. Of course, we won’t just completely forget. But maybe, creating new memories will heal old ones. I’m still working on this myself, but I promise you no matter how terrible something seems we always seem to get over it. Not saying forget about it or even have bad days because of it. But, it’s never as bad as we play it out to be. Friends I’ve said I can’t live without… Here I Am. Choices I’ve made that I said would define me… They Don’t. We are always growing. It’s part of life.
Nothing will ever disappear on their own. Not when we are in control and we give power to them. I still struggle with this daily. If I let my suicide struggles define me as a person, you wouldn’t be reading this article. It’s not easy, it never is. If mental health were an easy topic most of us wouldn’t suffer or even know that mental health existed. We are not defined by our past or our future. We are who we make ourselves out to be. “My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; It has only strengthened me.” – Dr. Steve Maraboli
- Thinking Mans Thoughts I've created a Patreon for anyone who wants to help and support this journey I'm on. This isn’t about money nor will it ever be. I plan to blog as long as I have thoughts running through my head and stories to tell, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t help me in my situation. All support is appreciated but not mandatory. It's very awkward 'asking' for money especially when I don’t want it to come across like that is my intention.
If you've read all of that and still choose to support me, I will forever appreciate it.